It has recently come to my attention that almost all of us are inconsiderate at times. However, there are some who have elevated inconsiderate behaviour to a high art form. The sharp end of this is the world of shared living. Your tolerance for anyone you don’t live with is automatically higher, you do not have to put up with their bullshit in your personal space on a day to day basis. If you are in a relationship with the person you live with, you will probably put up with more because your brain is clouded by sexual attraction, and that shit makes you mental, but in this case it is probably a good thing. So it is the friends and acquaintances you find yourself sharing living space with, who will test the extent of your tolerance.
The Classic Washing up Dilemma
You do not come home from a double shift, to a gargantuan pile of washing up including every piece of kitchen equipment in a 5 mile radius, and not immediately want to kill the lazy cunt who created it then left it there for 3 days to fester. As the victim of lazy housemate from hell, you know exactly why it has not been done, but for the poor deluded dickwad you live with, here are the facts:
- An intention to do the washing up is not the same as doing it. Your intentions may be good but doing nothing is bad. You are still a lazy inconsiderate bastard, end of.
- The fact that you work a normal 9-5 does not count as being too busy. You are clearly deluded if you think this is a genuine excuse.
- You know full well that you live with someone more conscientious than you, so you will just leave it until they do it for you week in week out for the remainder of your tenancy. This is in fact the truth of the matter, A and B are simply lame excuses you will wheel out when your housemate finally loses the plot.
You pay all of the rent one month because being thrown out on the streets seems more annoying than lending champion flatmate a few hundred quid until they:
- Get a goddam job (you will probably have to facilitate this)
- Ask Mummy or Daddy for a handout (relies on them being on good enough terms with said parentage)
- Stop spending all their time in the pub complaining about their lack of money
You may as well write of some of that money before you even start, as inconsiderate flatmate is also likely to be unable to hold onto cash for more than 30 seconds without buying some major and, no-doubt-essential purchase, like say a 4th guitar, a new snowboard, or some other item of which they already own one or more perfectly good versions. For anyone in any doubt, frivolous spending in front of somebody to whom you owe money (particularly when that person is hardly swimming in cash themselves), is about the highest level of inconsiderate bastard you can achieve.
The Overuse of Resources
Once again, you come home after a long hard day at work, looking forward to that pizza that you know will be ready a mere 15 minutes after walking through the door with minimal effort on your part to prepare. Upon opening the fridge however, you discover that your housemate has scarfed the damn thing, leaving the half eaten crusts in the giant pile of washing up, as if to taunt you. You check the fridge for other easy to prepare meals, maybe a bottle of wine to ease the pain, and everything you look at has been 90% eaten and is mocking you, as you run round the kitchen finding half drunk beer cans and glasses semi filled with the wine you bought in full knowledge that this situation would one day arise. Though this should be blamed on your inconsiderate flatmate, it is in some ways more your fault, for expecting too highly of this person or people. Buy a fridge and a lock for your room and never ever get your hopes up again, communal living is simply more trouble than it is worth.