Posted by: seasonaire | January 24, 2014

Doing it Right

This will be coming rather late for most of you in the Northern Hemisphere, but could be of some use to those in the South who have heard the call of the mountains, and for next season of course. 

What occurs to me when I look at the hoards of seasonaires in Verbier, is how many of them seem to have the balance a little off. So you hate your job, this is not the biggest deal in the world. Most season jobs are service orientated by nature, which means you are almost certainly somebody’s bitch. What you need to be able to do is a bit of cost-benefit analysis. 


If you are lazy, and incompetent…

Working for one to the big tour ops is for you. You will be shat on from a great height and paid a pittance, not even enough to finance your no-doubt raging alcoholism, but on the plus side, you you are handed everything on a plate as soon as you arrive in resort. Lift pass, transport, accommodation and ski hire are all yours without you having to lift a finger, and you may even be fed some sub par punter leftovers into the bargain. Another major plus is that a lot of the bigger tour operators hire absolute monkeys, many of whom can barely wipe their own arses after a couple of weeks of intensive instruction (this is known as ‘Training’ I am told, having never attended). This will probably be your first and only season, and by the end of it you will have developed a sizable beer gut, but will emerge with no more skills than you turned up with straight from your cushy (probably independent) high school. 


If your Daddy’s rich…

Ski instructor training is probably for you. My guess is that you already know how to ski and like it enough to want to spend the winter in the mountains, so why not persuade Mumsy and Pops that the best way to spend your Gap Yah, supposedly a period of great personal development, learning to be a ski or snowboard instructor and paying close to 10 grand for the privilege. Of course, if you take this option, you can afford to also be lazy and incompetent, because the Gap course providers will house and feed you and probably wipe your arse for you if you have not yet mastered this skill. At the end of this process you will hold a ski instructor qualification, that you can then use for future mountain based employment in the country of your choice as long as it is not France. 


If you are over 21 and have some desire to maintain a modicum of dignity…

Get a real job, one that pays a decent wage and forces you to be a grown up. You will be required to find your own accommodation, buy a ski pass and get yourself to and from resort. Sounds boring I know, but this is the only way you will maintain any perspective whatsoever for the 5 months you are living in Lala Land with no idea what is going on back home. Sorting out your own shit is tedious and often pitfall prone, however you will actually develop some life, and maybe even some language skills, into the bargain. You should also finish the season with at least some modest savings, but this may be ambitious given the wallet draining capabilities of the various resort bars, where you will inevitably spend much of your free time.  

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